White coat. Heels.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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