Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
