we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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