I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
