I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
