I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
