We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I wear drunk well.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
