it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
