He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize