Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
