I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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