All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
