Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
