All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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