Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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