So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
