hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
