HIV tests are more positive than that guy
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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