Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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