No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
