How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
