Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
