five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
