Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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