No, you can still breathe under the balls.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
