Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he fucked my hip out of place.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
