i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
