Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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