The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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