"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
