So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
