foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
