I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize