I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
