is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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