I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
