Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
