im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
