I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
