So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
should my penis look like a turkey
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
