update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
porn star boner night. come get it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
