She just used a chaser for red wine.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just want to make out with him forever
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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