Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
be right there i have to get my cape
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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