There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
God I need to hump something, right now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
