Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
