Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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