we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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