Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
