don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
time to smoke my breakfast
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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