My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
