Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize