I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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