Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
