It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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