Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
