if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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