There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
