oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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