I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
