Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This is the high leading the old right now
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's rum buckets o'clock
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
