I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I would fuck him just for his dog
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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