my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
