Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize