great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
